


The bath-time bitch sesh

by Jalaperilo



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Bath Time, M/M, Preventers Era, and exaggeration, just bitching times, lots of swearing, no sexy times
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-07-23 21:55:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16167650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jalaperilo/pseuds/Jalaperilo
Summary: Wufei liked to enjoy a long, hot bath. Duo does not enjoy crappy missions.





	The bath-time bitch sesh

**Author's Note:**

> I saw this 'prompt' (https://lemontrash.tumblr.com/post/173507165929/removes-safety-specs) by Lemontrash on tumblr (I believe they are Odamaki on AO3), and the idea just ran away with me, as someone who likes to retell the bullshit in their life with exaggerations and flair. So thank you to them for their headcannons and the inspiration!

Wufei had always enjoyed hot baths. Sometimes there was nothing as great as relaxing in the tub. It was just what was needed to soak all your aches away. Sometimes it helped you remember the good things, sometimes it let you remember your troubles if you were feeling especially nostalgic as you sat there, but for Wufei, it was a way to try to switch off from the world and recuperate. 

 

Duo said it was Wufei’s time to boil himself alive. The water was always hot enough to turn his skin red. No need for bubble baths or bath bombs. Just simple hot water. He enjoyed the heat of it, the steam filling the room and raising the rooms temperature a couple more degrees, almost physically sweating out the stress. He could feel the knots in his shoulder coming undone as he soaked. He had spent his work time hunched over his computer at HQ for the past week, tidying up the loose ends of his latest case and overseeing a few other junior agents in their investigations. It was easy work, and a suitable break from high stress missions, but it did put a strain on his back muscles. It also reminded him of how he loathed the minutia of office life, especially if Duo and Yuy weren’t there.

 

He sighed as he scooped water over his chest, enjoying the quiet. It had been peaceful, if not lonely the last two days since Duo had been dispatched to one of the smaller colonies in the L1 cluster. Not that Duo was overly loud in everything he did, but Wufei had always appreciated quiet time. Though, in recent times, that quiet time was much more enjoyable when he had the background noise of Duo moving around and doing his own thing.

 

Though he wasn’t without contact from his boyfriend. Wufei had received 5 communiques since Duo had been called up to L1. One phone call to say he had arrived at the Preventers airfield and had dismissed the pilot so that he could fly the shuttle himself. A second phone call to say he had reached the colony. The next was a text that just said ‘FUCK SIGINT!!! >:-U’. A fourth text came 14 hours later, which was a selfie of Heero and Duo. They were sat in the shuttle on the way back to Earth, Duo had cuts on his cheek and forehead with butterfly stitches, both men looking ready to murder something. And a final text half an hour ago informing Wufei that he was back on Earth and never going back to L1-884 ever again.

 

Wufei sank further into the water, resting the back of his head on the rim of the bath. He wet a washcloth and placed it over his face, closing his eyes and relishing the heat against his face. He had assumed that Duo would be held up at HQ for a couple of hours, which would give him time to run a bath and enjoy it, before starting dinner. But then Wufei heard the door to the apartment slam and the subsequent not quite stomping of his boyfriend as he entered the hallway. He idly wondered just how bad the last 41 hours had been for them to be dismissed so early. Wufei heard rustling before the footsteps drew closer to the bathroom. The door was unceremoniously thrown open and Duo swept into the room.

 

“You will not believe the bullshit I’ve had to put up with,” he started without preamble, closing the door behind him. He dropped the toilet lid seat and flopped down on it. Wufei repressed a sigh and turned his head fractionally, still with the hot towel on his face. He didn’t know if Duo had taken that as a sign to continue, or if he was continuing regardless.

 

“So these “smugglers” that intel told us about? Gunrunners, but not just guns. Oh no! Never that simple. We’re half an hour on L1 and the information is already useless, but we don’t know that yet. So we go to the local johnny law and they’re no help. Heero manages to get the location out of them after they tried to impress us or something, talking some crap about procedure. He did that whole ‘ask nicely and say please,’ thing he started doing. I dunno how he makes it sound so threatening? Gotta hand it to him, it works though. God I hate law enforcement,” Duo groused.

 

“Aren’t we law enforcement?” Wufei cut in, eyes still closed, a small smirk that couldn't be seen on his face. Duo huffed.

 

“I’m different, cause I’m sure the local popo don’t B&E an abandoned store?”

 

“Don’t warrant’s exist up there?” Wufei put forwards, earning a snort.

 

“Heero Yuy has no time for warrants? So anyway we get to this address and it’s a closed down boutique, two storeys, a nail salon and a jewellers on either side. It’s mid afternoon. So, populated street. No sign of anything out front, so we make our way round back. Get there, boarded up. So we, by that I mean,  _ Heero _ , decides that we, as in,  _ me _ , is gonna break in. No warrant, so this could go badly. So we get in and we’re in the store room. There are boxes and crates everywhere, and not stuff left behind. We crack one open and what do you know? Rifles. Semis. Handguns. We then open a bigger crate. It’s a fucking minigun! Like one you strap to an armored van if you wanted to break into a high security place. Ridiculous.”

 

During the rant, Wufei had taken the flannel off of his face to look at the other man. Duo was sat on the toilet, one leg crossed over the other, one arm leaning on said leg and propping his chin up, the other draped over the sink, gesturing with it every so often. His Preventers jacket already gone, leaving him in a rumpled black shirt, sleeves rolled up and black utility pants that were dusty and scratched up one side. He still had the butterfly stitches but also a darkening bruise on his left jaw.

 

“You should definitely have words with Intelligence about this,” Wufei said, shifting slightly in the water. Duo gave Wufei a withering look of agreement.

 

“Oh. They’re gonna get a visit from both me and Heero. Anyway, that’s not the end of it. Heero decides to call for local backup and goes outside. I go look around a bit more and I find stairs going up to the next floor. As I get up there, I heard voices cause of course there is. There’s three of them up there probably waiting for a drop. So I get to the top of the stairs, gun already pulled, hoping to get the drop on them. At that exact moment, one of them opens the door and I’m face to face with him. We look at each other for like five seconds, like we’ve both never seen another human before in our lives, before he slams the door in my face.”

 

“Rude.”

 

“Right? Then I do the whole  _ ‘Preventers! We’re here to fuck your shit up!’. _ Then they start firing. Like, blindly at the door, from how the bullet marks ended up. Amateurs. As you can see, I managed to not become swiss cheese. Heero is instantly at the stairs, telling me he’s going up the fire escape to flank them. I wait 30 seconds for him to get in position. It goes quiet for a moment and I use that time to kick the door in, at the same time Heero rips the metal board off of the window. I swear, one guy pissed himself,” Duo said, laughter ringing up off of the tiles. He rolled his shoulders a few times and stretched.

 

“Not everyone is used to hanging around humans that can bend steel with their bare hands,” Wufei mused with a smirk. Duo snickered again, as he reached out to grab a spiral hairpin and began wrapping his braid around on the top of his head. Looked like Wufei was going to end up sharing his bath.

 

“Gee. Here I thought every preteen went through genetic and cognitive enhancement to become perfect child soldiers,” Duo said, standing up and unbuttoning his shirt.

 

“Where did the cuts and bruises come from?”

 

“Right. So I’m stood there in the door, Heero’s in through the window and already got one of them on the floor, another surrenders, and the third makes a break for it, bullrushing me and sending us through the door on the other side of the corridor. He gets up and makes a run for it. I don’t grab him in time, but I’m up and after him down the stairs and into the storefront. Budge up man,” Duo recounted as he stripped down. Wufei already moving to sit up and shuffle back to make room. Duo stepped into the bath with a hiss and managed, in his slim way, to make himself fit between Wufei’s legs, leaning back on the hard, toned chest of his boyfriend. The tub only lost minimal water, like Duo barely displaced any mass at all, but the water was almost to the brim now. He sighed deep as Wufei brought his arms around Duo, pressing a kiss to the side of his head.

 

“I will say, that what I did next was in a high adrenaline situation with little time to react,” Duo quantified, running a hand down the outside of Wufei’s leg. The man snorted.

 

“You went through the window,” he said, deadpan.

 

“Glass door actually. To be fair, he’s the one that made a run for a locked door. He slammed into it, and I kinda let my momentum slam into him. Thankfully, no one was outside the store at the time, so we just fell into the street, glass raining down, skidding along the pavement, but not before I got an elbow to the face.”

 

“That explains the bruise on your thigh,” Wufei said, nudging Duo’s leg with his own. Duo looked over and cursed lightly.

 

“I hadn’t even seen that. Anemia must be acting up again,” he said as he tentatively poked at the bruise before continuing.

 

“I roll and manage to get to my feet, but he got up quicker and suddenly I’m looking down the barrel of a gun. There are people around us, who are not so suddenly starting to panic, so I’m like, I need to keep this guy’s attention on me. He’s yelling about shooting me between the eyes, letting him go, yadda yadda. I’m like easy man, no need to fall out. The guy goes on about war and revenge against the Earth, stuff I thought I’d stop hearing about ten years ago, but apparently not? Then he takes a fucking shot at me and missed from fifteen feet. Obviously ex-Oz, ha! Then Heero, with the timing of a watch that’s five seconds slow, appears behind him and puts a bullet in his shoulder. My hero. Then the police turn up, which was pretty quick. I think they wanted to impress Heero or something. Got it’s tiring just thinking about this shit,” Duo groused, stretching a leg straight up in the air.

 

“No wonder you both looked ready to kill in that selfie,” Wufei said, gently rubbing his hand over the bruise, which elicited a contented hum from his boyfriend. Duo and Yuy always got the results in the end, but their methods were always a little maddening, and the cases never planned out well. Both were just a little too impulsive in different ways, and this was a prime example of this, but Wufei wasn’t about to comment. Neither man was prepared to change their ways.

 

“That was actually because of the 12 hours it took to process the perps, bag and tag the weapons AND get them released to our custody. 12 hours! Fucking procedures! The icing on this fucking cake, was in one of the boxes? 6 AMP sabots. Heero looked ready to snap these guys in two,” Duo said with a sour look. Wufei made a noise in the back of his threat, the tension released by the bath returning.

 

“I suppose we have to find whatever fires those rounds then. Bothersome,” Wufei mused. They would definitely have to bring in more people for this case, if this was turning out bigger than it first seemed.

 

“If it’s a goddamn mobile suit I’m gonna quit,” Duo groused, hunching down more. Wufei rolled his eyes and squeezed the other man. Duo sighed and sat for a while, content. Both men just happy to soak up the heat and just be.

 

“How are you? Sorry. I guess I kinda just came in firing on all cylinders?” Duo said, twisting around to look at Wufei, who only gave a smile and a one shoulder shrug.

 

“I’m fine. Glad you’re back and in relatively one piece,” Wufei said, leaning down to kiss his boyfriend, who tilted his head up to meet his lips with his own in a slightly awkward kiss.

 

“How about we get dried off and I’ll fix us some food?” Wufei asked, leaning forward to sit Duo up as well. The man stretched and stood, grabbing a towel and handing Wufei his bathrobe as he also stepped out of the tub.

 

“I dunno if I’m gonna be able to stay awake that long. Which is probably a good thing. They let us go early cause we agreed to be in first thing for debriefing and interrogating these clowns. Like, 6am,” Duo said, draping the towel around his shoulder. Wufei caught Duo’s hand and drew him closer, leaning in for another kiss. It was slow and languid, warm and nice. If he wasn’t already flushed from the heat of the bathroom, he was even more so now. Duo drew away fractionally, planting one last kiss on the other man's lips.

 

“I definitely don’t have the energy for that,” he said against Wufei’s lips. The man chuckling before drawing away and leaving the bathroom. 

 

“Get dried off and go take a nap. I’ll wake you when dinner is ready,” he called as he made his way to the kitchen. He heard Duo pad into the bedroom and fall straight onto the bed. Wufei snagged his phone from the end table in the living room and sent off a text to Heero.

 

_ Wufei: Was the mission as bad as Duo says? _

 

_ Heero: if he said it was a clusterfuck then yes _

_ Heero: make sure he comes in for 6am im not facing une alone _

 

Ouch, Wufei thought. Well, there it was. Heero was dramatic in his actions, but not in exaggeration. If he told you that you were screwed, you were  _ screwed _ . Wufei hoped that the real debriefing would be more eloquent now that Duo had gotten his dramatics out of the way, but then again, 6am was never a fun time for anyone involved.

 

Maybe he could sneak in a second bath?

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Heero is 100% the person who uses zero punctuation and grammar in texts.


End file.
